Right now I (momentarily) find myself the closest to my own (momentary) definition of an insane person. In this state, I step outside of myself and become my proto-me, I send pertinent e-mails out because if I don’t I’ll lose money in an unrelated partition of my life, I smile at things that I don’t find funny for the same reason, I abstain from looking from looking at pornography because of possible socioeconomic enslavement of the actors, I refrain from downloading music of deceased persons (out of respect, man) and other strange things. Pretending it all makes a difference amps up my drive for a few more hours until I slink back into my real, more pragmatic ways which are in every way the opposite of above. Caffeine & etc., bringing to you & me, bursts of youth. If we only got paid to be humans (inconsistent, indecisive, superstitious, afraid, insane).
One job I think I would thoroughly relish is writing absurd commercials which advertise products which seem equally as absurd, but the product itself would make life less absurd. Absurd humor is the best kind. I constantly curl up on the couch, grinning and snickering to myself while I scheme and imagine the endless amounts of childish entertainment that I would derive watching people’s reactions to my nonsensical commercials. The reaction that would give me the greatest pleasure would be from the person who had already seen my absurd commercials before, been shocked or whatever first response they had, then they’d smile and show it to their friends, just to see their reaction. I would then put those people in a commercial, the action of showing the person the commercial on tv or Youtube or whatever, and these interlocutors would then be hit by a comet, and then I would advertise something about paying attention to what scientists say. Delicious!
The next P. Madison commercial: investing in Macedonia. But that’s not absurd.
In the interest of upgrading my travel mettle, I recently subjected myself to two vaccinations. Vaccination one will protect me for five years against against yellow fever, vaccination two will protect me for five years against typhoid fever. I feel so fucking 2007. A 2007 question for today, 4 July, is do I have more chance in being murdered by a terrorist or by yellow fever?
I love life — so for today I think that means that I love wiretapping, vaccinations, Diane Rehm, Hillary Clinton, Scooter Libby, self-righteousness, non compos mentis constitutional arguments from both the Supreme Court and the Vice President, Africa and expatriatism. Happy birthday, United States!