I have an unhealthy obsession with the word “wonky”. I dream of ways to use it in every imaginable way, for ways to work it into serious discourses about reproductive rights, and into a scientific journal. I would also like fror opportunities to dress someone down with it etc. I want to write an opinion column and use wonky in every sentence. I would like for the word of the day every day to be wonky. I want to write a book about wonky and have Wonky be the main character. I would like for more people to name their pets wonky, and also name their other nameable things wonky. I would like to wonky to reenter the English vocabulary as a verb, so then we can be even cooler. Wonky will have its day, and here is nothing we can do to stop it. It is 2007 and wonkyism and wonkyphobia make me sick. I certainly know I do not want to be sick anymore. Let’s all do our part for wonky.