I have been avoiding playing the arbiter of when and why. This is me with anyone else, but mainly for me. I have little control over what I do in the immediate future. I am just letting myself be taken to where ever I am being taken to, when asked when or why, I practice mediocre extemporaneous thinking.
I think it is part of my enormous procrastination ability. I do not like to plan too far ahead, it’s annoying.
What I have been speculating is on what I would really really like to do with my life, as opposed to the scenario that I am in now — where I like what I am doing, but not really-really. I’ll find it.