Uranium Enrichment | May 17, 2006

Sheepishly asking professors for recommendations is something that I have become good at. With most professors, sheepishness is the way to go. These people have worked hard their entire lives, and they like the fact that you’re quivering and deathly nervous about asking for them to advance your career. If I were a professor I would definitely find some sick satisfaction at the power I’d possess to make or break a student’s career. It is difficult to deny a groveling, snot-nosed, and hungry undergrad who has spent hours upon hours on things that you’ve said, their nuances, and the kitchen sink.

An academic subject in a university is not actually about the subject itself. It’s definitely not about learning. It’s a game between you and the professor. If you lose, you go directly into a life of bitter, never self-actualizing despairdom. If you win, you go directly into a life of bitter, pretending to self-actualize despairdom. But you get a shiny recommendation for winning. And if the professor likes you, that recommendation will be that much better. So guys, smell nice and smile and sit up straight. Girls, wear those subliminally seducing outfits and sit up straight. If you play this game correctly, you won’t have to pay attention to the material.

Posted in College

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