the head

May 31, 2005
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Often times, I wonder how a celebrity can stand the attention. How can one wake up, turn on the news and see his own face? How can one face seeing his own face? If I were a celebrity I’d be hard-pressed to keep my self-esteem high. Hell, I’d be hard-pressed to open my window. I currently find it difficult to even open my email, and see what bad news is waiting there to depress me or rile me up. At least I can travel to and read about some(one)(thing) else. So when I write in LJ, what am I doing? Am I making news about myself, or am I just doing the silly meta-self posts that only sporadically have the potential to be more than the news? Yeah…

So I’ll put a little news up about myself instead of attempting to elaborate on my meta-introspection:

In 7 days, I am going to Mexico for six weeks to study spanish. But most importantly, I’m going to freaking grow. I’m tired of being in familar environments. Not only tired, but somewhat uncomfortable with comfort. I’m uncomfortable with the small strange world that I’ve been kept in.

Also, I have this tremendous urge to write all of my entries in Spanish, but I’ll hold off, haha.

For the past 7 days, I’ve made a list (in my head of course) of the things I’ve been meaning to acquire before my trip. But like all things in my brain, they fall in and out without question I forget and reremember and then reforget, only to rereremember, in no particular order. I have no idea about the other things, But top on that list is to see people.

So this week, I’m going to get remotivated, and reattack life while I am still in this pretty little green state called Maryland.
I’m going to visit friends before I desert them for the summer.


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don’t skip the pictures

May 17, 2005
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Remember when you would pick up a book just to look at the pictures? Over the years of my educational development, somewhere my mind has converted to all text. Pictures fail to captivate me like text. Art interests me, and usually because I don’t understand what the big deal is and I try to contort my mind into understanding the hubbub. Black and white photographs get to me though, but i think it’s only because it resembles text…in a a racial sense haha


so, about this studying. all i can see now are circles. circles everywhere. These circles are problems, and I want to compute their radii and momenta, and save the world!
if only i could look at the pictures, then I would be able to do this accurately…

Posted in College

happiness: we’re all in it together

May 8, 2005
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strange grammar day

everytime I walk by the construction of the new bioresearch building, i feel the greatest of urges to stop and stare. few things amaze me more than turning space into…enclosed space. it’s a sickness really.

i attended a picnic today, and deep throat last night. the picnic was benign, but deep throat was a whole wonderful mix of insane.
one of my friends was pretty drunk, she was on my left. this unknown innocent girl sat on my right.
much applause occured during the movie, because for sure, much of the crowd was inebriated, but there is something to be said about watching a hardcore porn film with 300 other people.

so strange. i recommend everyone add it to the things to do before you die.

Posted in College


May 4, 2005
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Alright. Things are under control now. I am making some sort of promise to myself to try and write in here as often as possible.

As of right now, I want to revert everything to a Fall 2003 state. The conditions were uncomfortable: insanely small amount of space to myself, 16 credits, el trusty black messenger bag, cumbersome laptop-backpack, classes in Susequehanna when i lived in Centreville. All of the makings of a terrible semester, but I did very well. It seems that every small change that I make that is supposed to be for the better, makes things worse. The universe is in reverse.

Trying to stay cheery in this backwards place.

Posted in College