It’s 3:14 am and I have an exam in 4 hours 46 minutes, and another in 7 hours 46 minutes. Sounds…scary when it’s put that way, but it doesn’t matter, because I’m writing to you guys.
I cannot get to sleep. I Haven’t had insomnia in 3 years, and this is the day that my body decides to try it out again. Well it’s making me sad, because I really like sleep.
The sadness is buffered by other emotions, perhaps similar though, that’s good. But it’s bad because it’s keeping me fucking awake.
I’m one-irritated that I’m awake.
Three-pre-remorseful, the trembling hand kind, about my report card that I’m going to see if I do not go to bed within the next 10 minutes.
Four-distressed by the failure of my attempts to get to sleep (reading, eating screaming/crying into a pillow, pacing like a crumudgonly affluent)
Five-i’m curious to know how the hell i got myself into making a list for the second entry in a row. I think about aesthetics like that.
Six-worried about gifts for people, should I get gifts for my professors, co-workers, students that I talk to daily? Ex-girlfriends that I talk to triweekly? Cute girl(s) down the hall? That issue is too complex and it would be April before I could make a decision.
Seven- what is the meaning of life? Is the meaning of life the University of Maryland, College Park? My professor says yes, my other professor says no, my mother says no, my younger friends say, “wtf?!! pwnt in World of Warcraft!!!!” my contemporaries say, “shit dude, it’s fuckin’ like…fuck, oh my god… wait… it’s wait… is this…shit, wha…yo so i don’t even remember last night man…crazy!!111!!1”
I say, it depends on the hour. At 3:43 am on the morning before exams, the meaning of life is to get to sleep so that my life will have meaning(sic) aka being able to work professionally, having obtained a B.S. in Biochemistry from UMD in 2007, and an M.D. from blank in 2011.
Okay that wasn’t an emotion sorry, but it was a slice of my brain at that point. Really, I’m sorry.
The moral of this story is, do not have insomnia, or your mental well-being will pay. Sorry everyone. Lucidity shall return in the near future.